dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
