maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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