windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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