so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize