1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
