I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
