Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
