I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize