32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
