And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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