How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize