soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
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