i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize