No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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