You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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