Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
