I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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