So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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