Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
