her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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