Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
