After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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