and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
