yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
