she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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