i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
