Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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