oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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