Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
