you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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