first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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