hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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