you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
