That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think your dad took our porno
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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