break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
