He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
