Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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