Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
