my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
They took my balls.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
