I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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