So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize