Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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