I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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