why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
the liver wants what the liver wants
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
