Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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