Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
