Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
