He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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