So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
