I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
