hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
