so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
