You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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