3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO