my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
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last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants