Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
