I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
