ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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