Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize