I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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