We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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