i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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