Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
