I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
