i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
