Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize