i would punch a child for taco bell
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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