Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize